"Girls developed eating disorders when our culture developed a standard of beauty that they couldn’t obtain by being healthy. When unnatural thinness became attractive, girls did unnatural things to be thin.” To say I struggle with my weight would be an understatement. I've lost all this weight, but I still look at myself sometimes in the mirror in disgust. How could anyone love me with a body like that? I tell myself you are gross, you are not lovable, no one will love you when you have all that fat on you. To say I struggle with eating disorders would also be an understatement. Sometimes I will eat so much to the point and not being able to move... sometimes I will starve myself for days because I don't think I deserve to eat.
This life is a constant struggle. I want to feel beautiful. I want to be beautiful. I want the world to accept me. I have come a long way the last few months. I'm starting to feel a little bit more comfortable and beautiful in my own skin. This is a one day at a time process, and I know I will get there. It takes time. I pray one day I will truly love myself and be able to look at myself in the mirror and be proud. I know I will get there one day. I will feel beautiful. I will love myself. I will be confident. I will be enough for myself. I can do this.
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